[Mr. Potato Head for President]
Here is the MP3 of the song: LDDuctTape.mp3
And here is a link to the album it's off of: http://cdbaby.com/cd/lesliemoruza
Around the school:
The buck stopped here - Medicine Lodge, Kansas - Principal Mark Buck at Medicine Lodge Middle School challenged his students
to read 400,000 pages before the end of the year. If they did, he would allow them to duct tape him to a wall. Each
student got to put up one yard of duct tape for every 1000 pages he or she read. Obviously, they did their work!
P.S. Thanks to Barbara Keltner for sending me the picture, and to Mr. Buck for allowing his name and picture to be used. :) |
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Watch the telly in peace:
Got a buddy who insists on giving a running commentary of the games on TV? Can't get those lips to stop flapping? Simon
and friends in the UK truss their buddy James up with duct tape so they can watch the games in peace. I only hope they tape a
straw in his mouth so he can drink his beer.
But watch out for paybacks:
Update June 1999 - James and four of his rugby buddies duct taped Simon to to a goal post in his boxer shorts. A police patrol happened
to come by and threatened to lock him up for "breach of the peace" unless he calmed down. At least they let him go. They could have
just gone on their way I suppose....
And take care of your brother!
Plumbing:
Patch that rusted out trap at the bottom of the sink.
Patch pipes in the basement.
Put strips in the bottom for a non-slip bathtub.
Patch the broken toilet tank.
Automotive:
Patch that rust spot at the bottom of the fender. Works best on a silver car.
Patch radiator hoses.
Hold up that window that fell off the track or tape the piece of clear plastic over it.
Patch the seat covers.
Tape the door shut when the latch breaks.
Hold up the falling headliner in that raggedy old car.
Patch that crack in the dashboard padding.
Cover the annoying "check engine" light that won't go out.
Temporarily repair a universal joint (worked for 3 days!) [Walter Isgro]
Patch mufflers and tailpipes (needs frequent replacing).
Auto mechanics:
If you're working on a car and cut yourself, use as a band-aid to keep the grease out.
Wrap that old socket swivel joint so it doesn't flop so much.
NASCAR Racing Pit Crews use it to temporarily patch car bodies. [Bill Moore]
Computers:
Use as floppy disk labels.
Tape all the holes in the case shut so the fan noise isn't so annoying.
Tape the cables out of the way.
Don't have that special hard drive bracket? Duct tape it.
Around the house:
Bind the hands and legs for bedroom bondage play (NOTE: Do not use as a condom).
Tape an annoying person's mouth shut.
Hang pictures and posters.
Patch the kids wading pool.
Repair split paperback book bindings.
Repair eyeglass frames.
Repair broken sandals [Beatriz Pulido].
Substitute nail polish remover. [Gene Hilleren]
Use for three legged races when you don't have rope (and maybe the victims won't be able to get out of it)[BP].
My wife uses it for emergency facelifts.
Tape that old shoe with the sole coming apart in the front. You know, the shoe that looks like it's got a mouth.
Weatherstrip windows and doors.
Patch that broken last cigarette in the pack. Hack, hack.
Add to a regular book cover to make it indestructible. [Fannie A.K.A. Rick]
Tape up the kids for an emergency baby sitter.
When doing yard work (shoveling, raking, etc.) put it on the areas likely to blister. Try not to get hair stuck to it. [Paul Edwards]
My roommate and I used it on the bottom of a foot locker, that was used in place of a coffee table, so that it wouldn't scratch the hardwood floors. [Dave NLN]
Use to get dried cat puke out of carpeting. [CV in Massachusetts] Oh boy!
Can't afford that new suit? Do what Ryan F. from Minnesota did, and make one from duct tape. (Now THAT'S the way to stand out at your Prom.) Click the image for a larger version. |
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One day I was in my basement barefoot practicing my bass when my foot got
stuck to my bass case, which I keep shut with duct tape. I looked down and
noticed that there were also about 5 crickets stuck to the tape. I said to
myself "hey this might work!". I set out my traps, about 4 strips of 8" tape
around the cellar. A couple of nights later I found 13 crickets stuck to one
piece. In a couple of weeks my house was free of crickets. I think they
eat the glue. [Philip Paquette]
Around the world:
I patched a bagpipe bag for the Doo Dah Parade! [Andey McFarlin]
Duct tape yer luggage shut to prevent baggage handling mishaps (especially guitar cases). Also good
for patching drums. [Andrew Thwing]
Around the hideout:
Bind the hands of a kidnapping victim.
Tape a person's mouth.
Tape your fingers to avoid fingerprints.
Tape red sticks to a clock for phony bombs.
Eric Norris writes:
I'm not sure exactly which year, but about ten years ago NPR ran a piece on
their April 1st Morning Edition program which included a supposed "radio
documentary" on the harvesting of the "duck tape bushes" in the Pacific
Northwest. It was very well done, and got into a very detailed discussion
about the discovery of the duck tape bush by Native Americans and the
peculiar properties of the bark and the sticky sap of the bush, which
imparts the tape's adhesive qualities. (Couldn't find anything on it. Shucks., J.T.)
Duct Tape Fashion Accessories at DuctTapeFashion.com - Waterproof, and you always have spare duct tape with you!
Duct Tape Wallets - Use it to hold your Vatican Card
The World is held together by duct tape
WWW PlumbingSupply - Get tape thru the web!
Remove the brackets in the email address to email: jthorsse[@]gmail[.]com
Jeff T. Ocean Pines, MD
Last updated - sometime